Dear Franklin,

I'm finally finding myself.
i felt lost after you left.
like a hole was inside me.
but now its scarring up.

i'm glad for that.

i feel like a breath of fresh air has finally come my way.

I hope it doesn't just pass away.

I miss you a lot.
I was thinking about you this morning.

I'm sure your not missing it here.


Shout!

Holy, Holy, Holy,

is the Lord Almighty

who was and is and is to come!

my pride no longer

resolving.
moving on.
i'm so excited to.

unspoken words
left gaps in our minds.
thinking this, assuming that.

blown up.
i'm glad its dying down.

for i have missed you dearly.

its good to know we'll be ok.

it would be a shame to lose you too.

for you have been my closest.
nothing should interrupt that.

petty. we acted immature.

the light is coming.
the hole no longer resides

PRAISE THE LORD!

what?

Could it be that my eyes are seeing differently?
i see something i didn't before.

but i'm all over the place.
scattered like ants after you step on their home.
ha.

but maybe.

lets just leave

forget your troubles,
and i'll forget mine.
lets just go for a ride.
my hand out the window,
my hair in my face.
the sun before us.
the moon behind us.

we'll board a train to who knows where.
no we're not runnin' away from our problems.
we'll come back.
but for tonight, lets just leave.

no umbrella

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God,- John 1

Your faithful.

reign.

rain all over me.

I want to be drenched of you.

Holy, Holy, Holy

Is the Lord Almighty

who was, and is, and is to come!

I want this desire i have,

to spread like wild fire within me.

my shack

i'd rather have a shack on Your land
than a castle on mine

for on Your land my shack
turns into a kingdom, Your kingdom!

So I have been reading in Romans..
heres some rad verses.

"You do not support the root, but the root supports you"
-12:18


This one makes me want to get on a plane..
"How can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
-10:14-15

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor dept, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-8:38-39

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge but leave room for Gods wrath.."
-12:17-19

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except for the continuing debt to love one another"
-13:8


Anyways.. I love Romans ha.

waking up to reality

You say be thankful but its hard to be
I'm not satisfied of only dreaming of him
I'm not satisfied of seeing him when i sleep but not when i'm awake..
He is alive when i'm asleep but dead when my eyes open.
You say its a blessing,

but it feels like a trick..

Now you see it, now you don't.

I look up at you, then i wake up
and your no where to be found.

I get frustrated when i dream of you
but

i would rather stay asleep.

sharpen me, i sharpen you, He sharpens us

"As iron sharpens iron

so one man sharpens another"

-Proverbs 27:17

this is rare in the world now.
mouths pollute others.
actions wrong others.

i see this less and less in the world.
and i'm seeing it less and less in our friendship.

we are to encourage.
we are to stick together.
to fight for unity.

i feel as if our group has disintegrated.

what is this?

something that bound us,
no longer does.
death brought us together.
now our lives and our circumstances pull us apart.

what is this?

lets fix this, lets sharpen one another.

what say you?

only You

You look at me through your magnifine glass;
I'm glad its only You who can.
there is glass stuck inside me.
bullets.
i am wounded.

I am not ready for what i want.

though my desire does not flee.
i am not ready

because of me.

splinters have become branches
growing inside.
seeds became weeds.

but now i'm coming clean.
not by my doing but by me asking You.

asking for grace.
purify me.

i hate that your gone.

I'm getting used to you not being around.
i hate that.
I don't look for you after church anymore.
i hate that.

I would almost rather just be depressed.

the small things

I miss the things other people didn't see..

I miss the way your hair always was swept.
I miss taking a nap thanksgiving.
I miss not sleeping all Christmas Eve.
I miss laying around watching tv and playing Mario.
I miss talking to you everyday..
I miss your laugh that would go on forever.
I miss our embarrassing moments.
I miss going through the drive-thru with you.
I miss being pursued by you.
I miss the way we connected.
I miss North Carolina.
I miss slamming the doors shut in your car to get the speakers to work.
I miss your texts and voice-mails.
I miss my brothers always wrestling with us.
I miss family day.

Nothing is the same anymore.

He is the vine, the Father is the gardener

"No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.
Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
I am the vine, and you are the branches.
If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit;
apart from me you can do nothing.
If anyone does not remain in me,
he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers;
such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned."
-John 15


dang.

this chapter always blows me away..

I am nothing without you but a withering branch..
but only with You i can bear fruit.

REMAIN IN THE VINE!

Chivalry Don't Die

So today we were talking about chivalry in class
we also were yesterday.

What people think of it boggles my mind.
Yet some, I agree with.

People were saying its pointless.
Guys were saying girls should always pay and sometimes for the guy too.
A girl said "she likes to date a**holes."

I think guys should be considerate of girls.
That doesn't mean paying for them every single time.
Chris didn't always pay for me, though he did most of the time.

Guys were saying they aren't chivalrous anymore because girls aren't appreciative.
I agree with that, most people aren't.

I think girls have lowered there standards.
Ladies, raise em' up
or you'll end up marrying an "a**hole"

And gents, be chivalrous.

we miss you

honesty is true..

no words can explain the depth

i feel more alone than ever.


with present situations
with the situation of June 8th.

I feel abandoned.

my honesty, phases you.
my honesty, startles you.
my honesty worries you.

but honesty is true.


"I consider that our present sufferings
are not worth comparing with the glory of God
that will be revealed in us"
- Romans 8:18

let this word be engraved on my heart..

i face, i flee

I go back and forth with myself
like a kid on a swing.

its never a situation.
it just traces back to June 8th.

when i cry, it ends up being about him.

because i wouldn't be here, if he were still here.


I face myself head on.


i chase my thoughts around
like a dog chasing his tail.


i face the fact this is real.

but i flee from it.


its easier just to run away.
but I know You have more for me than this.
than that.


i feel stranded, like an island.
with nothing but the man in the clouds.

but that is enough.

i can survive without water
without food
without people

BUT I CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU!

i thought they weren't welcome.

they got swept under the front porch rug.

but you failed to wipe the dirt off your feet.

rocky road

could it be my life is like my favorite roads?

could it be its not smooth like the common?

could it be my life is like the rocky road?

could it be my life is the dirt?

could it be that your road is through a city

with beautiful buildings, people, grafitti?

could it be that mine is simple

that mine is dirt in the middle of nowhere?

could it be that this is where you have me?

surrounded by beauty, but alone?

could it be that my dirt can be beauty?

it is true

they cloud my mind
with the little voice in my head

comparing

itching at my brain

they always get the best of me

its a curse

be my wind
be my ocean
be my sky
be my heartbeat
be my ground
be my feet
be my compass
be my love

I DON'T want other desires
just desire for You

but its a curse thats on us
one that makes me desire.

i want to strip of these feelings
and only have them for You.

romance me oh lover of my soul..

nothing

in the same boat
in the same ship

of course
we are alike
our minds close

the waves not the same
the sky not the same
the steadiness not the same
the anchor not the same

yet we look at common land

nothing will get in the way of my crew

no land

there are no sides to take
for we sit together.