its answering whats asked of you

The rain made me smile today,

there was something comforting about it.

The days ahead scare me

because your no longer apart of them..

This year was supposed to be grand..

My future was you, so I thought..

The pain feels like a freight train,

The tears like waterfalls,

the nights neverending,

the days seem dark.

It doesn't take a week, nor a month or two.

Who knows how long til I accept it..

I miss you.

"Temporary is my time, ain't nothing on this world thats mine,

except the will I found to carry on

Free is not your right to choose

Its answering whats asked of you

to give the love you find until its gone" -The Avett Brothers

i hate tuesdays..

The days have been different..
I feel like they are numbered, because yours were.
Sometimes I try to think of what I would have said to you in my goodbye.
But I never got that chance, maybe He spared me that.
I'm clueless in many ways.
I don't understand why your gone,
but I guess all I need to know is that it was the Lords timing.
I'm reminded of you countless times a day.
and I constantly find myself talking about you in present tense.
I hate past tense.
But this is all true, and I'm not dreaming.
I know the Lord will heal me of this pain eventually.
But I don't think we'll ever truly get over it, how can you?
I never knew my God this way, in the taking way.
I haven't lost like this, I didn't want to.
But my God knows what time is right.

I visited your grave sunday..
There lies your body, not your soul
I couldn't help but break down,
but Heather held me close..
It still doesn't seem real..

I'm jealous of the people who dream of you.
I've only had one and that was too long ago.